[from funny or die...]
ps. if you go to the funny or die site, you gotta see "the landlord." hil- fucking- arious.
Aug. 26, 2008 | John McCain's two most loyal supporters and most influential foreign policy advisers, Joe Lieberman and Lindsey Graham, have an Op-Ed in The Wall St. Journal today proclaiming that "Russia's invasion of Georgia represents the most serious challenge to this political order since Slobodan Milosevic unleashed the demons of ethnic nationalism in the Balkans." Just as their neoconservative comrade, Fred Hiatt, does in today's Washington Post, Lieberman and Graham demand that the U.S. expend vast resources and assert itself both militarily and politically in order to thwart the New Russian Menace ("This means reinvigorating NATO as a military alliance, not just a political one . . . The credibility of Article Five of the NATO Charter -- that an attack against one really can and will be treated as an attack against all -- needs to be bolstered. . . .The Georgian military should be given the antiaircraft and antiarmor systems necessary to deter any renewed Russian aggression").
The painful absurdity of hard-core warmongers who supported the invasion of Iraq (and, in Lieberman's case, advocating we do the same to Iran and Syria) parading around as defenders of the "political order" is too self-evident, and by now too common, to merit much comment. But this warning from the neoconservative duo about the folly of imperialistic Russian policies is really a sight to behold:
In the long run, a Russia that tries to define its greatness in terms of spheres of influence, client states and forced fealty to Moscow will fail -- impoverishing its citizens in the process. The question is only how long until Russia's leaders rediscover this lesson from their own history.To recap: the U.S. is going to impede Russian aggression, re-build and protect Georgia, revitalize the military strength of NATO, and restore peace and order to Europe. We're going to stare down the Hitlers of Iran (also in the Post today, Lieberman comrade -- the super-tough-guy and Iran obsessive Micheal Rubin -- lashes out at Joe Biden for "blinking on Iran" and being "Tehran's favorite senator"). We're going to re-build, occupy and safeguard Iraq for decades if necessary. We will single-handedly promote Israel's interests and view each of its enemies and its wars as our own. We're also going to get much tougher on China, just like Russia:
A John McCain presidency would take to a more forceful approach to Russia and China, according to senior foreign policy advisers to the Republican candidate. . . .And we're going to do all that while cutting taxes further. But remember: it's Russia, bulging with cash from oil exports, that better realize -- for their own good -- that its efforts "to define its greatness in terms of spheres of influence, client states and forced fealty to Moscow will fail -- impoverishing its citizens in the process."
Robert Kagan, who wrote much of the [foreign policy] speech delivered [by McCain] in Los Angeles, told the Daily Telegraph: "Russia will loom large for both Europe and the US, and John McCain has been ahead of the curve and has seen this coming down the road. . . .While continuing a "multi-faceted approach" to Beijing, [McCain foreign policy adviser Max] Boot said the US needs "to be forthright on their human rights abuses and not shrink from condemning what they are doing in Tibet for example, or from trying to help Chinese dissidents to stay out of jail".
The foreign policy team exerting chief influence over John McCain is truly more extremist -- in a purer and more deranged form -- than the foreign policy team of the Bush administration. They're not only the most extremist faction in American political life, but also the most delusional. These aren't just the people who led the U.S. to war in Iraq -- though they are that -- but they're also the ones who actually believe that the Bush administration has been far too meek in its assertion of U.S. military force and too passive in its interference in the affairs of other countries. They want to accelerate -- massively intensify -- virtually every one of the polices that has brought the U.S. to such disgrace and near ruination over the past eight years. There is nothing "moderate" or "centrist" about any of them. John McCain is the Candidate of Bill Kristol and Joe Lieberman and John Bolton for good and clear reasons (including in Georgia): he's the best and most devoted instrument to advance their militaristic agenda.
Is there any real discussion of any of that? Hardly. Here's the trite soap opera pablum and royal court intrigue which, instead, dominates our media's campaign coverage:
Riveting. Being in Denver has meant that I've been in the proximity of the herds of establishment media figures for the first time, to actually hear what they say and how they conduct themselves off camera, and it's all exactly the same. The only topics they're capable of thinking about are the same ones they chatter about on the TV -- is Obama Making a Mistake by speaking in the stadium because the heartland Americans (who they know and understand so well) will think he's too big for his britches? What Must Hillary Do? How will Michelle Play in the Bowling Alleys? To say it's bereft of substance is to understate the case dramatically.
Digby was on some "media vs. bloggers" panel yesterday with Newsweek's Jonathan Alter and the Post's Chris Cilizza and -- after Alter ranted that bloggers, to cite Digby's summary, "have a psychological condition called 'disinhibition' -- like Alzheimers patients" (as contrasted with the extreme psychological health and balance displayed by Alter when he demanded, in an article excerpted at length by Digby, that the U.S. Government torture people) -- this is what happened:
Ari Melber asked the pertinent question about how a reporter can possibly fail to call out illegal and immoral acts like wiretapping and torture for what they are, under some misguided definition of objectivity or neutrality. Cilizza answered the question honestly, admitting that they don't do a good job of it.When Cilizza said "they don't do a good job of it," what he was referring to was "reporting on and covering what the Government of the U.S. actually does." If they don't do that well, what do they do well? And Cilizza is right -- they don't do a "good job" of that because they don't do it at all (along those lines, Jerry and Joe Long have a super-concise and appropriately acerbic post on just some of the media's Convention behavior that is quite worth reading).
John McCain himself, and especially those who whisper foreign policy wisdom in his ear, have long had a lengthy list of New Enemies We Must Confront in the World -- beyond those we're already fighting. They not only want to add China, but now especially Russia, to that list, without the slightest concern for the severe degradation they have already imposed on the U.S. military and America's economic security (but, Lieberman and Graham warn, Russia will go bankrupt if they have a 10-day border skirmish with a neighboring state). But infantile calls for Standing Tall in the Face of American Enemies and Not Blinking is still the definition of Seriousness in American political discourse, and the pure derangement and extremism that lies at the heart of this McCain foreign policy mentality will thus continue to go largely unexamined.
-- Glenn Greenwald~lee.
My mom did not approve of men who cheated on their wives. She called them “long-tailed rats.”
During the 2000 race, she listened to news reports about John McCain confessing to dalliances that caused his first marriage to fall apart after he came back from his stint as a P.O.W. in Vietnam.
I figured, given her stringent moral standards, that her great affection for McCain would be dimmed.
“So,” I asked her, “what do you think of that?”
“A man who lives in a box for five years can do whatever he wants,” she replied matter-of-factly.
I was startled, but it brought home to me what a powerful get-out-of-jail-free card McCain had earned by not getting out of jail free.
His brutal hiatus in the Hanoi Hilton is one of the most stirring narratives ever told on the presidential trail — a trail full of heroic war stories. It created an enormous credit line of good will with the American people. It also allowed McCain, the errant son of the admiral who was the commander of U.S. forces in the Pacific during Vietnam — his jailers dubbed McCain the “Crown Prince” — to give himself some credit.
“He has been preoccupied with escaping the shadow of his father and establishing his own image and identity in the eyes of others,” read a psychiatric evaluation in his medical files. “He feels his experiences and performance as a P.O.W. have finally permitted this to happen.”
The ordeal also gave a more sympathetic cast to his carousing. As Robert Timberg wrote in “John McCain: An American Odyssey,” “What is true is that a number of P.O.W.’s, in those first few years after their release, often acted erratically, their lives pockmarked by drastic mood swings and uncharacteristic behavior before achieving a more mellow equilibrium.” Timberg said Hemingway’s line that people were stronger in the broken places was not always right.
So it’s hard to believe that John McCain is now in danger of exceeding his credit limit on the equivalent of an American Express black card. His campaign is cheapening his greatest strength — and making a mockery of his already dubious claim that he’s reticent to talk about his P.O.W. experience — by flashing the P.O.W. card to rebut any criticism, no matter how unrelated. The captivity is already amply displayed in posters and TV advertisements.
The Rev. Kirbyjon Caldwell, the pastor who married Jenna Bush and who is part of a new Christian-based political action committee supporting Obama, recently criticized the joke McCain made at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally encouraging Cindy to enter the topless Miss Buffalo Chip contest. The McCain spokesman Brian Rogers brought out the bottomless excuse, responding with asperity that McCain’s character had been “tested and forged in ways few can fathom.”
When the Obama crowd was miffed to learn that McCain was in a motorcade rather than in a “cone of silence” while Obama was being questioned by Rick Warren, Nicolle Wallace of the McCain camp retorted, “The insinuation from the Obama campaign that John McCain, a former prisoner of war, cheated is outrageous.”
When Obama chaffed McCain for forgetting how many houses he owns, Rogers huffed, “This is a guy who lived in one house for five and a half years — in prison.”
As Sam Stein notes in The Huffington Post: “The senator has even brought his military record into discussion of his music tastes. Explaining that his favorite song was ‘Dancing Queen’ by Abba, he offered that his knowledge of music ‘stopped evolving when his plane intercepted a surface-to-air missile.’ ‘Dancing Queen,’ however, was produced in 1975, eight years after McCain’s plane was shot down.”
The Kerry Swift-boat attacks in 2004 struck down the off-limits signs that were traditionally on a candidate’s military service. Many Democrats are willing to repay the favor, and Republicans clearly no longer see war medals as sacrosanct.
In a radio interview last week, Representative Terry Everett, an Alabama Republican, let loose with a barrage at the Democrat John Murtha, a decorated Vietnam War veteran who is the head of the House defense appropriations subcommittee, calling him “cut-and-run John Murtha” and an “idiot.”
“And don’t talk to me about him being an ex-marine,” Everett said. “Lord, that was 40 years ago. A lot of stuff can happen in 40 years.”
The real danger to the McCain crew in overusing the P.O.W. line so much that it’s a punch line is that it will give Obama an opening for critical questions:
While McCain’s experience was heroic, did it create a worldview incapable of anticipating the limits to U.S. military power in Iraq? Did he fail to absorb the lessons of Vietnam, so that he is doomed to always want to refight it? Did his captivity inform a search-and-destroy, shoot-first-ask-questions-later, “We are all Georgians,” mentality?
AS the real campaign at last begins in Denver this week, this much is certain: It’s time for Barack Obama to dispatch “Change We Can Believe In” to a dignified death.
This isn’t because — OMG! — Obama’s narrow three- to four-percentage-point lead of recent weeks dropped to a statistically indistinguishable one- to three-point margin during his week of vacation. It’s because zero hour is here. As the presidential race finally gains the country’s full attention, the strategy that vanquished Hillary Clinton must be rebooted to take out John McCain.
“Change We Can Believe In” was brilliantly calculated for a Democratic familial brawl where every candidate was promising nearly identical change from George Bush. It branded Obama as the sole contender with the un-Beltway biography, credibility and political talent to link the promise of change to the nation’s onrushing generational turnover in all its cultural (and, yes, racial) manifestations. McCain should be a far easier mark than Clinton if Obama retools his act.
What we have learned this summer is this: McCain’s trigger-happy temperament and reactionary policies offer worse than no change. He is an unstable bridge back not just to Bush policies but to an increasingly distant 20th-century America that is still fighting Red China in Vietnam and the Soviet Union in the cold war. As the country tries to navigate the fast-moving changes of the 21st century, McCain would put America on hold.
What Obama also should have learned by now is that the press is not his friend. Of course, he gets more ink and airtime than McCain; he’s sexier news. But as George Mason University’s Center for Media and Public Affairs documented in its study of six weeks of TV news reports this summer, Obama’s coverage was 28 percent positive, 72 percent negative. (For McCain, the split was 43/57.) Even McCain’s most blatant confusions, memory lapses and outright lies still barely cause a ripple, whether he’s railing against a piece of pork he in fact voted for, as he did at the Saddleback Church pseudodebate last weekend, or falsifying crucial details of his marital history in his memoirs, as The Los Angeles Times uncovered in court records last month.
What should Obama do now? As premature panic floods through certain liberal precincts, there’s no shortage of advice: more meat to his economic plan, more passion in his stump delivery, less defensiveness in response to attacks and, as is now happening, sharper darts at a McCain lifestyle so extravagant that we are only beginning to learn where all the beer bullion is buried.
But Obama is never going to be a John Edwards-style populist barnburner. (Edwards wasn’t persuasive either, by the way.) Nor will wonkish laundry lists of policy details work any better for him than they did for Al Gore or Hillary Clinton. Obama has those details to spare, in any case, while McCain, who didn’t even include an education policy on his Web site during primary season, is still winging it. As David Leonhardt observes in his New York Times Magazine cover article on “Obamanomics” today, Obama’s real problem is not a lack of detail but his inability to sell policy with “an effective story.”
That story is there to be told, but it has to be a story that is more about America and the future and less about Obama and his past. After all these months, most Americans, for better or worse, know who Obama is. So much so that he seems to have fought off the relentless right-wing onslaught to demonize him as an elitist alien. Asked in last week’s New York Times/CBS News poll if each candidate shares their values, registered voters gave Obama and McCain an identical 63 percent. Asked if each candidate “cares about the needs and problems of people like yourself,” Obama beat McCain by 37 to 23 percent. Is the candidate “someone you can relate to”? Obama: 55 percent, McCain: 41. Even before McCain told Politico that he relies on the help to count up the houses he owns, he was the candidate seen as the out-of-step elitist.
So while Obama can continue to try to reassure resistant Clinton loyalists in Appalachia that he’s not a bogeyman from Madrassaland, he must also move on to the bigger picture for everyone else. He must rekindle the “fierce urgency of now” — but not, as he did in the primaries, merely to evoke uplifting echoes of the civil-rights struggle or the need for withdrawal from Iraq.
Most Americans, unlike the press, are not obsessed by race. (Those whites who are obsessed by race will not vote for Obama no matter what he or anyone else has to say about it.) And most Americans have turned their backs on the Iraq war, no matter how much McCain keeps bellowing about “victory.” The Bush White House is now poised to alight with the Iraqi government on a withdrawal timetable far closer to Obama’s 16 months than McCain’s vague promise of a 2013 endgame. As Gen. David Petraeus returns home, McCain increasingly resembles those mad Japanese soldiers who remained at war on remote Pacific islands years after Hiroshima.
Economic anxiety is the new terrorism. This is why the most relevant snapshot of voters’ concerns was not to be found at Saddleback Church but at the Olympics last Saturday. For all the political press’s hype, only some 5.5 million viewers tuned in to the Rev. Rick Warren’s show in Orange County, Calif. Roughly three-quarters of them were over 50 — in other words, the McCain base. By contrast, a diverse audience of 32 million Americans tuned in to Beijing that night to watch Michael Phelps win his eighth gold medal.
This was a rare feel-good moment for a depressed country. But the unsettling subtext of the Olympics has been as resonant for Americans as the Phelps triumph. You couldn’t watch NBC’s weeks of coverage without feeling bombarded by an ascendant China whose superior cache of gold medals and dazzling management of the Games became a proxy for its spectacular commercial and cultural prowess in the new century. Even before the Olympics began, a July CNN poll found that 70 percent of Americans fear China’s economic might — about as many as find America on the wrong track. Americans watching the Olympics could not escape the reality that China in particular and Asia in general will continue to outpace our country in growth while we remain mired in stagnancy and debt (much of it held by China).
How we dig out of this quagmire is the American story that Obama must tell. It is not a story of endless conflicts abroad but a potentially inspiring tale of serious economic, educational, energy and health-care mobilization at home. We don’t have the time or resources to go off on more quixotic military missions or to indulge in culture wars. (In China, they’re too busy exploiting scientific advances for competitive advantage to reopen settled debates about Darwin.) Americans must band together for change before the new century leaves us completely behind. The Obama campaign actually has plans, however imperfect or provisional, to set us on that path; the McCain campaign offers only disposable Band-Aids typified by the “drill now” mantra that even McCain says will only have a “psychological” effect on gas prices.
Even as it points to America’s future, the Obama campaign also has the duty to fill in its opponent’s past. McCain’s attacks on Obama have worked: in last week’s Los Angeles Times-Bloomberg poll, Obama’s favorable rating declined from 59 to 48 percent and his negative rating rose from 27 to 35. Yet McCain still has a lower positive rating (46 percent) and higher negative rating (38) than Obama. McCain is not nearly as popular among Americans, it turns out, as he is among his journalistic camp followers. Should voters actually get to know him, he has nowhere to go but down.
The argument against Obama’s “going negative” is that it undermines his message of “transcendent politics” and will make him look like an “angry black man.” But pacifistic politics is an oxymoron, and Obama is constitutionally incapable of coming off angrier than McCain. A few more fisticuffs from the former law professor (and many more from his running mate and other surrogates) can only help make him look less skinny (metaphorically if not literally). Obama should go after McCain’s supposedly biggest asset — experience — much as McCain went after Obama’s crowd-drawing celebrity.
It is, after all, not mere happenstance that so many conservative pundits — Rich Lowry, Peggy Noonan, Ramesh Ponnuru — have, to McCain’s irritation, proposed that he “patriotically” declare in advance that he will selflessly serve only a single term. Whatever their lofty stated reasons for promoting this stunt, their underlying message is clear: They recognize in their heart of hearts that the shelf life of McCain’s experience has already reached its expiration date.
Is a man who is just discovering the Internet qualified to lead a restoration of America’s economic and educational infrastructures? Is the leader of a virtually all-white political party America’s best salesman and moral avatar in the age of globalization? Does a bellicose Vietnam veteran who rushed to hitch his star to the self-immolating overreaches of Ahmad Chalabi, Pervez Musharraf and Mikheil Saakashvili have the judgment to keep America safe?
R.I.P., “Change We Can Believe In.” The fierce urgency of the 21st century demands Change Before It’s Too Late.
|Phoenix Woman Thursday August 21, 2008 7:00 pm|
The recent news that John Sidney McCain III is so frickin' rich he can't keep track of all of his domiciles is really no news to those of us who have been paying attention. This is a man, mind you, who is the Fortunate Son and Grandson of two admirals, and whose great-great-grandfather was a Mississippi plantation owner with 52 slaves and 2000 acres in the days before the Civil War. (McCain professed not to have known this when it was brought to his attention in 2000, but his cousin, author Elizabeth Spencer, mentions the McCain family's slaves in her family memoir Landscapes of the Heart, a book John McCain had admitted to reading by the time the 2000 campaign had rolled around.)
It was McCain's silver-spoon background and admiral daddy that got him into the prestigious Navy Air Pilot Flight Training program despite graduating 894th in his Annapolis class of 899. That same background and daddy also kept him flying over the years, even after crashing several planes. Wrecking one plane was often enough for a Navy pilot to lose his wings; McCain lost five, a feat that would earn him the ironic nickname "Reverse Ace McCain" or just plain old "Ace".
But even the influence of a powerful father couldn't fix his stalled Naval career; by the mid-1970s, it was clear to everyone that McCain the Third was not going to make admiral as his illustrious forebears had done. He began casting about for a new career, around the same time that he began casting about for a new wife. He found his new wife in Cindy Hensley, the heiress to a very wealthy beer distributor in Phoenix with ties to organized crime. They married in May of 1980, and Cindy's daddy was quite generous in letting his new son-in-law use his money to run for Congress in 1982 in the heavily-Republican Phoenix congressional district. (McCain essentially served as a placeholder for the powerful Rhodes family: When John Jacob Rhodes Jr. retired from Congress in 1982, he opened the seat for McCain, who then held it for two terms until he left it to Rhodes' son, John Jacob Rhodes III, when McCain ran for the Senate in 1986.)
Keep all this in mind if you ever wonder how John Sidney McCain III could be so out of touch as to propose tax hikes on the middle class while backing and planning to expand Bush's big tax cuts for those folks as rich as the McCains.
The poor guy should be winning in a landslide against the despised party of Bush-Cheney, and he’s not. He should be passing the 50 percent mark in polls, and he’s not. He’s been done in by that ad with Britney and Paris and by a new international crisis that allows McCain to again flex his Manchurian Candidate military cred. Let the neocons identify a new battleground for igniting World War III, whether Baghdad or Tehran or Moscow, and McCain gets with the program as if Angela Lansbury has just dealt him the Queen of Hearts.
Obama has also been defeated by racism (again). He can’t connect and “close the deal” with ordinary Americans too doltish to comprehend a multicultural biography that includes what Cokie Roberts of ABC News has damned as the “foreign, exotic place” of Hawaii. As The Economist sums up the received wisdom, “lunch-pail Ohio Democrats” find Obama’s ideas of change “airy-fairy” and are all asking, “Who on earth is this guy?”
It seems almost churlish to look at some actual facts. No presidential candidate was breaking the 50 percent mark in mid-August polls in 2004 or 2000. Obama’s average lead of three to four points is marginally larger than both John Kerry’s and Al Gore’s leads then (each was winning by one point in Gallup surveys). Obama is also ahead of Ronald Reagan in mid-August 1980 (40 percent to Jimmy Carter’s 46). At Pollster.com, which aggregates polls and gauges the electoral count, Obama as of Friday stood at 284 electoral votes, McCain at 169. That means McCain could win all 85 electoral votes in current toss-up states and still lose the election.
Yet surely, we keep hearing, Obama should be running away with the thing. Even Michael Dukakis was beating the first George Bush by 17 percentage points in the summer of 1988. Of course, were Obama ahead by 17 points today, the same prognosticators now fussing over his narrow lead would be predicting that the arrogant and presumptuous Obama was destined to squander that landslide on vacation and tank just like his hapless predecessor.
The truth is we have no idea what will happen in November. But for the sake of argument, let’s posit that one thread of the Obama-is-doomed scenario is right: His lead should be huge in a year when the G.O.P. is in such disrepute that at least eight of the party’s own senatorial incumbents are skipping their own convention, the fail-safe way to avoid being caught near the Larry Craig Memorial Men’s Room at the Twin Cities airport.
So why isn’t Obama romping? The obvious answer — and both the excessively genteel Obama campaign and a too-compliant press bear responsibility for it — is that the public doesn’t know who on earth John McCain is. The most revealing poll this month by far is the Pew Research Center survey finding that 48 percent of Americans feel they’re “hearing too much” about Obama. Pew found that only 26 percent feel that way about McCain, and that nearly 4 in 10 Americans feel they hear too little about him. It’s past time for that pressing educational need to be met.
What is widely known is the skin-deep, out-of-date McCain image. As this fairy tale has it, the hero who survived the Hanoi Hilton has stood up as rebelliously in Washington as he did to his Vietnamese captors. He strenuously opposed the execution of the Iraq war; he slammed the president’s response to Katrina; he fought the “agents of intolerance” of the religious right; he crusaded against the G.O.P. House leader Tom DeLay, the criminal lobbyist Jack Abramoff and their coterie of influence-peddlers.
With the exception of McCain’s imprisonment in Vietnam, every aspect of this profile in courage is inaccurate or defunct.
McCain never called for Donald Rumsfeld to be fired and didn’t start criticizing the war plan until late August 2003, nearly four months after “Mission Accomplished.” By then the growing insurgency was undeniable. On the day Hurricane Katrina hit, McCain laughed it up with the oblivious president at a birthday photo-op in Arizona. McCain didn’t get to New Orleans for another six months and didn’t sharply express public criticism of the Bush response to the calamity until this April, when he traveled to the Gulf Coast in desperate search of election-year pageantry surrounding him with black extras.
McCain long ago embraced the right’s agents of intolerance, even spending months courting the Rev. John Hagee, whose fringe views about Roman Catholics and the Holocaust were known to anyone who can use the Internet. (Once the McCain campaign discovered YouTube, it ditched Hagee.) On Monday McCain is scheduled to appear at an Atlanta fund-raiser being promoted by Ralph Reed, who is not only the former aide de camp to one of the agents of intolerance McCain once vilified (Pat Robertson) but is also the former Abramoff acolyte showcased in McCain’s own Senate investigation of Indian casino lobbying.
Though the McCain campaign announced a new no-lobbyists policy three months after The Washington Post’s February report that lobbyists were “essentially running” the whole operation, the fact remains that McCain’s top officials and fund-raisers have past financial ties to nearly every domestic and foreign flashpoint, from Fannie Mae to Blackwater to Ahmad Chalabi to the government of Georgia. No sooner does McCain flip-flop on oil drilling than a bevy of Hess Oil family members and executives, not to mention a lowly Hess office manager and his wife, each give a maximum $28,500 to the Republican Party.
While reporters at The Post and The New York Times have been vetting McCain, many others give him a free pass. Their default cliché is to present him as the Old Faithful everyone already knows. They routinely salute his “independence,” his “maverick image” and his “renegade reputation” — as the hackneyed script was reiterated by Karl Rove in a Wall Street Journal op-ed column last week. At Talking Points Memo, the essential blog vigilantly pursuing the McCain revelations often ignored elsewhere, Josh Marshall accurately observes that the Republican candidate is “graded on a curve.”
Most Americans still don’t know, as Marshall writes, that on the campaign trail “McCain frequently forgets key elements of policies, gets countries’ names wrong, forgets things he’s said only hours or days before and is frequently just confused.” Most Americans still don’t know it is precisely for this reason that the McCain campaign has now shut down the press’s previously unfettered access to the candidate on the Straight Talk Express.
To appreciate the discrepancy in what we know about McCain and Obama, merely look at the coverage of the potential first ladies. We have heard too much indeed about Michelle Obama’s Princeton thesis, her pay raises at the University of Chicago hospital, her statement about being “proud” of her country and the false rumor of a video of her ranting about “whitey.” But we still haven’t been inside Cindy McCain’s tax returns, all her multiple homes or private plane. The Los Angeles Times reported in June that Hensley & Company, the enormous beer distributorship she controls, “lobbies regulatory agencies on alcohol issues that involve public health and safety,” in opposition to groups like Mothers Against Drunk Driving. The McCain campaign told The Times that Mrs. McCain’s future role in her beer empire won’t be revealed before the election.
Some of those who know McCain best — Republicans — are tougher on him than the press is. Rita Hauser, who was a Bush financial chairwoman in New York in 2000 and served on the Foreign Intelligence Advisory Board in the administration’s first term, joined other players in the G.O.P. establishment in forming Republicans for Obama last week. Why? The leadership qualities she admires in Obama — temperament, sustained judgment, the ability to play well with others — are missing in McCain. “He doesn’t listen carefully to people and make reasoned judgments,” Hauser told me. “If John says ‘I’m going with so and so,’ you can’t count on that the next morning,” she complained, adding, “That’s not the man we want for president.”
McCain has even prompted alarms from the right’s own favorite hit man du jour: Jerome Corsi, who Swift-boated John Kerry as co-author of “Unfit to Command” in 2004 and who is trying to do the same to Obama in his newly minted best seller, “The Obama Nation.”
Corsi’s writings have been repeatedly promoted by Sean Hannity on Fox News; Corsi’s publisher, Mary Matalin, has praised her author’s “scholarship.” If Republican warriors like Hannity and Matalin think so highly of Corsi’s research into Obama, then perhaps we should take seriously Corsi’s scholarship about McCain. In recent articles at worldnetdaily.com, Corsi has claimed (among other charges) that the McCain campaign received “strong” financial support from a “group tied to Al Qaeda” and that “McCain’s personal fortune traces back to organized crime in Arizona.”As everyone says, polls are meaningless in the summers of election years. Especially this year, when there’s one candidate whose real story has yet to be fully told.
Would you live with ease,
Do what you ought, and not what you please.
[Latin: Resist the first advances]
Better slip with foot than tongue.
You cannot pluck roses without fear of thorns,
Nor enjoy a fair wife without danger of horns.
Without justice, courage is weak.
Many dishes many diseases,
Many medicines few cures.
Where carcasses are, eagles will gather,
And where good laws are, much people flock thither.
Hot things, sharp things, sweet things, cold things
All rot the teeth, and make them look like old things.
Blame-all and Praise-all are two blockheads.
Be temperate in wine, in eating, girls, & sloth;
Or the Gout will seize you and plague you both.
No man e’er was glorious, who was not laborious.
What pains our Justice takes his faults to hide,
With half that pains sure he might cure ’em quite.
In success be moderate.
Take this remark from Richard poor and lame,
Whate’er’s begun in anger ends in shame.
What one relishes, nourishes.
Fools multiply folly.
Look before, or you’ll find yourself behind.
Bad Commentators spoil the best of books,
So God sends meat (they say) the devil Cooks.
Approve not of him who commends all you say.
By diligence and patience, the mouse bit in two the cable.
Full of courtesie, full of craft.
A little House well fill’d, a little Field well till’d, and a little Wife well will’d, are great Riches.
Old Maids lead Apes there, where the old Batchelors are turn’d to Apes.
Some are weatherwise, some are otherwise.
*** Dyrro lynn y ddoeth e fydd ddoethach. [Welsh: Who gives drink to the wise, he is wiser. Please send better translation to Rich Hall]
The poor man must walk to get meat for his stomach, the rich man to get a stomach to his meat.
He that goes far to marry, will either deceive or be deceived.
Eyes and Priests
Bear no Jests.
The Family of Fools is ancient.
Necessity never made a good bargain.
If Pride leads the Van, Beggary brings up the Rear.
There’s many witty men whose brains can’t fill their bellies.
Weighty Questions ask for deliberate Answers.
When *** and *** in *** lie,
Then, Maids, whate’er is ask’d of you, deny.
Be slow in choosing a Friend, slower in changing.
Old Hob was lately married in the Night,
What needed Day, his fair young Wife is light.
Pain wastes the Body, Pleasures the Understanding.
The cunning man steals a horse, the wise man lets him alone.
Nothing but Money,
Is sweeter than Honey.
Humility makes great men twice honourable.
A Ship under sail and a big-bellied Woman,
Are the handsomest two things that can be seen common.
Keep thy shop, & thy shop will keep thee.
The King’s cheese is half wasted in parings: But no matter, ’tis made of the peoples milk.
What’s given shines,
What’s receiv’d is rusty.
Sloth and Silence are a Fool’s Virtues.
Of learned Fools I have seen ten times ten,
Of unlearned wise men I have seen a hundred.
Three may keep a Secret, if two of them are dead.
Poverty wants some things, Luxury many things, Avarice all things.
A Lie stands on 1 leg, Truth on 2.
There’s small Revenge in Words, but Words may be greatly revenged.
Great wits jump (says the Poet) and hit his Head against the Post.
A man is never so ridiculous by those Qualities that are his own as by those that he affects to have.
Deny Self for Self’s sake.
Tim moderate fare and abstinence much prizes,
In publick, but in private gormandizes.
Ever since Follies have pleas’d, Fools have been able to divert.
It is better to take many Injuries than to give one.
Opportunity is the great Bawd.
Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy wealthy and wise.
To be humble to Superiors is Duty, to Equals Courtesy, to Inferiors Nobleness.
Here comes the Orator! with his Flood of Words, and his Drop of Reason.
An old young man, will be a young old man.
Sal laughs at every thing you say. Why? Because she has fine Teeth.
If what most men admire, they would despise,
’Twould look as if mankind were growing wise.
The Sun never repents of the good he does, nor does he ever demand a recompence.
Are you angry that others disappoint you? remember you cannot depend upon yourself.
One Mend-fault is worth two Findfaults, but one Findfault is better than two Makefaults.
Reader, I wish thee Health, Wealth, Happiness,
And may kind Heaven thy Year’s Industry bless.
He is no clown that drives the plow, but he that doth clownish things.
If you know how to spend less than you get, you have the Philosophers-Stone.
The good Paymaster is Lord of another man’s Purse.
Fish & Visitors stink in 3 days.
He that has neither fools, whores nor beggars among his kindred, is the son of a thunder-gust.
Diligence is the Mother of Good-Luck.
He that lives upon Hope, dies farting.
Do not do that which you would not have known.
Never praise your Cyder, Horse, or Bedfellow.
Wealth is not his that has it, but his that enjoys it.
Tis easy to see, hard to foresee.
In a discreet man’s mouth, a publick thing is private.
Let thy maidservant be faithful, strong, and homely.
Keep flax from fire, youth from gaming.
Bargaining has neither friends nor relations.
Admiration is the Daughter of Ignorance.
There’s more old Drunkards than old Doctors.
She that paints her Face, thinks of her Tail.
Here comes Courage! that seiz’d the lion absent, and run away from the present mouse.
He that takes a wife, takes care.
Nor Eye in a letter, nor Hand in a purse, nor Ear in the secret of another.
He that buys by the penny, maintains not only himself, but other people.
He that can have Patience, can have what he will.
Now I’ve a sheep and a cow, every body bids me good morrow.
God helps them that help themselves.
Why does the blind man’s wife paint herself.
None preaches better than the ant, and she says nothing.
The absent are never without fault, nor the present without excuse.
Gifts burst rocks.
If wind blows on you thro’ a hole, Make your will and take care of your soul.
The rotten Apple spoils his Companion.
He that sells upon trust, loses many friends, and always wants money.
Don’t throw stones at your neighbours, if your own windows are glass.
The excellency of hogs is fatness, of men virtue.
Good wives and good plantations are made by good husbands.
Pox take you, is no curse to some people.
Force s—s upon Reason’s Back.
Lovers, Travellers, and Poets, will give money to be heard.
He that speaks much, is much mistaken.
Creditors have better memories than debtors.
Forwarn’d, forearm’d, unless in the case of Cuckolds, who are often forearm’d before warn’d.
Three things are men most liable to be cheated in, a Horse, a Wig, and a Wife.
He that lives well, is learned enough.
Poverty, Poetry, and new Titles of Honour, make Men ridiculous.
He that scatters Thorns, let him not go barefoot.
There’s none deceived but he that trusts.
God heals, and the Doctor takes the Fees.
If you desire many things, many things will seem but a few.
Mary’s mouth costs her nothing, for she never opens it but at others expence.
Receive before you write, but write before you pay.
I saw few die of Hunger, of Eating 100000.
Maids of America, who gave you bad teeth?
Answ. Hot Soupings & frozen Apples.
Marry your Daughter and eat fresh Fish betimes.
If God blesses a Man, his [Dog] brings forth Pigs.
He that would live in peace & at ease, Must not speak all he knows, nor judge all he sees.
Beauty & folly are old companions.
Hope of gain
All things are easy to Industry,
All things difficult to Sloth.
If you ride a Horse, sit close and tight,
If you ride a Man, sit easy and light.
A new truth is a truth, an old error is an error,
Tho’ Clodpate wont allow either.
Don’t think to hunt two hares with one dog.
This is a good Day,
To make Love in May.
Who pleasure gives,
Shall joy receive.
Be not sick too late, nor well too soon.
Where there’s Marriage without Love, there will be Love without Marriage.
Lawyers, Preachers, and Tomtits Eggs, there are more of them hatch’d than come to perfection.
Be neither silly, nor cunning, but wise.
Neither a Fortress nor a Maidenhead will hold out long after they begin to parly.
Jack Little sow’d little, & little he’ll reap.
All things are cheap to the saving, dear to the wasteful.
Would you persuade, speak of Interest, not of Reason.
Some men grow mad by studying much to know,
But who grows mad by studying good to grow.
Happy’s the Woing, that’s not long a doing.
Don’t value a man for the Quality he is of, but for the Qualities he possesses.
Bucephalus the Horse of Alexand hath as lasting fame as his Master.
Rain or Snow,
To Chili go,
You’ll find it so,
For ought we know.
Time will show.
There have been as great Souls unknown to fame as any of the most famous.
Do good to thy Friend to keep him, to thy enemy to gain him.
A good Man is seldom uneasy, an ill one never easie.
Teach your child to hold his tongue, he’l learn fast enough to speak.
He that cannot obey, cannot command.
An innocent Plowman is more worthy than a vicious Prince.
Sam’s Religion is like a Chedder Cheese, ’tis made of the milk of one & twenty Parishes.
Grief for a dead Wife, & a troublesome Guest,
Continues to the threshold, and there is at rest;
But I mean such wives as are none of the best.
As Charms are nonsence, Nonsence is a Charm.
An Egg to day is better than a Hen to-morrow.
Drink Water, Put the Money in your Pocket, and leave the Dry-bellyach in the Punchbowl.
He that is rich need not live sparingly, and he that can live sparingly need not be rich.
If you wou’d be reveng’d of your enemy, govern your self.
A wicked Hero will turn his back to an innocent coward.
Laws like to Cobwebs catch small Flies,
Great ones break thro’ before your eyes.
Strange, that he who lives by Shifts, can seldom shift himself.
As sore places meet most rubs, proud folks meet most affronts.
The magistrate should obey the Laws, the People should obey the magistrate.
When ’tis fair be sure take your Great coat with you.
He does not possess Wealth, it possesses him.
Necessity has no Law; I know some Attorneys of the name.
Onions can make ev’n Heirs and Widows weep.
Avarice and Happiness never saw each other, how then shou’d they become acquainted.
The thrifty maxim of the wary Dutch,
Is to save all the Money they can touch.
He that waits upon Fortune, is never sure of a Dinner.
A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one.
Marry your Son when you will, but your Daughter when you can.
By Mrs. Bridget Saunders, my Dutchess, in Answer to the December Verses of last Year.
He that for sake of Drink neglects his Trade,
And spends each Night in Taverns till ’tis late,
And rises when the Sun is four hours high,
And ne’er regards his starving Family;
God in his Mercy may do much to save him.
But, woe to the poor Wife, whose Lot it is to have him.
He that knows nothing of it, may by chance be a Prophet; while the wisest that is may happen to miss.
If you wou’d have Guests merry with your cheer,
Be so your self, or so at least appear.
Famine, Plague, War, and an unnumber’d throng
Of Guilt-avenging Ills, to Man belong;
Is’t not enough Plagues, Wars, and Famines rise
To lash our crimes, but must our Wives be wise?
Reader, farewel, all Happiness attend thee:
May each New-Year better and richer find thee.
The Use of Money is all the Advantage there is in having Money.
For 6 £. a Year, you may have the Use of 100 £. if you are a Man of known Prudence and Honesty.
He that spends a Groat a day idly, spends idly above 6 £. a year, which is the Price of using 100 £.
He that wastes idly a Groat’s worth of his Time per Day, one Day with another, wastes the Privilege of using 100 £. each Day.
He that idly loses 5 s. worth of time, loses 5 s. & might as prudently throw 5 s. in the River.
He that loses 5 s. not only loses that Sum, but all the Advantage that might be made by turning it in Dealing, which by the time that a young Man becomes old, amounts to a comfortable Bag of Mony.
Again, He that sells upon Credit, asks a Price for what he sells, equivalent to the Principal and Interest of his Money for the Time he is like to be kept out of it: therefore
He that buys upon Credit, pays Interest for what he buys.
And he that pays ready Money, might let that Money out to Use: so that
He that possesses any Thing he has bought, pays Interest for the Use of it.
Consider then, when you are tempted to buy any unnecessary Housholdstuff, or any superfluous thing, whether you will be willing to pay Interest, and Interest upon Interest for it as long as you live; and more if it grows worse by using.
Yet, in buying Goods, ’tis best to pay ready Money, because,
He that sells upon Credit, expects to lose 5 per Cent. by bad Debts; therefore he charges, on all he sells upon Credit, an Advance that shall make up that Deficiency.
Those who pay for what they buy upon Credit, pay their Share of this Advance.
He that pays ready Money, escapes or may escape that Charge.
A Penny sav’d is Twopence clear, A Pin a day is a Groat a Year. Save & have. Every little makes a mickle.
The greatest monarch on the proudest throne, is oblig’d to sit upon his own arse.
The Master-piece of Man, is to live to the purpose.
He that steals the old man’s supper, do’s him no wrong.
A countryman between 2 Lawyers, is like a fish between two cats.
He that can take rest is greater than he that can take cities.
The misers cheese is wholesomest.
Felix quem, &c.
[Latin, for 'Felix quem faciunt aliena Pericula cautum,' Fortunate the man who learns caution from the perils of others.]
Love & lordship hate companions.
The nearest way to come at glory, is to do that for conscience which we do for glory.
There is much money given to be laught at, though the purchasers don’t know it; witness A’s fine horse, & B’s fine house.
He that can compose himself, is wiser than he that composes books.
Poor Dick, eats like a well man, and drinks like a sick.
After crosses and losses men grow humbler & wiser.
Love, Cough, & a Smoke, can’t well be hid.
Well done is better than well said.
Fine linnen, girls and gold so bright,
Chuse not to take by candle-light.
He that can travel well afoot, keeps a good horse.
There are no ugly Loves, nor handsome Prisons.
No better relation than a prudent & faithful Friend.
A Traveller should have a hog’s nose, deer’s legs, and an ass’s back.
At the working man’s house hunger looks in but dares not enter.
A good Lawyer a bad Neighbour.
Certainlie these things agree,
The Priest, the Lawyer, & Death all three:
Death takes both the weak and the strong.
The lawyer takes from both right and wrong,
And the priest from living and dead has his Fee.
The worst wheel of the cart makes the most noise.
Don’t misinform your Doctor nor your Lawyer.
I never saw an oft-transplanted tree,
Nor yet an oft-removed family,
That throve so well as those that settled be.
Let the Letter stay for the Post, and not the Post for the Letter.
Three good meals a day is bad living.
Tis better leave for an enemy at one’s death, than beg of a friend in one’s life.
To whom thy secret thou dost tell,
To him thy freedom thou dost sell.
If you’d have a Servant that you like, serve your self.
He that pursues two Hares at once, does not catch one and lets t’other go.
If you want a neat wife, chuse her on a Saturday.
If you have time dont wait for time.
Tell a miser he’s rich, and a woman she’s old, you’ll get no money of one, nor kindness of t’other.
Don’t go to the doctor with every distemper, nor to the lawyer with every quarrel, nor to the pot for every thirst.
The Creditors are a superstitious sect, great observers of set days and times.
The noblest question in the world is What Good may I do in it?
Nec sibi, sed toto, genitum se credere mundo.
[Latin: And not to each, but all together, he created the world to believe.]
Nothing so popular as GOODNESS.
There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Great talkers should be cropt, for they’ve no need of ears.
If you’d have your shoes last, put no nails in ’em.
Who has deceiv’d thee so oft as thy self?
Is there any thing Men take more pains about than to render themselves unhappy?
Nothing brings more pain than too much pleasure; nothing more bondage than too much liberty, (or libertinism.)
Read much, but not many Books.
He that would have a short Lent, let him borrow Money to be repaid at Easter.
Write with the learned, pronounce with the vulgar.
Fly Pleasures, and they’ll follow you.
Squirrel-like she covers her back with her tail.
Caesar did not merit the triumphal Car, more than he that conquers himself.
Hast thou virtue? acquire also the graces & beauties of virtue.
Buy what thou hast no need of; and e’er long thou shalt sell thy necessaries.
If thou hast wit & learning, add to it Wisdom and Modesty.
You may be more happy than Princes, if you will be more virtuous.
If you wou’d not be forgotten
As soon as you are dead and rotten,
Either write things worth reading,
or do things worth the writing.
Sell not virtue to purchase wealth, nor Liberty to purchase power.
God bless the King, and grant him long to Reign.
Let thy vices die before thee.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
The ancients tell us what is best; but we must learn of the moderns what is fittest.
Since I cannot govern my own tongue, tho’ within my own teeth, how can I hope to govern the tongues of others?
’Tis less discredit to abridge petty charges, than to stoop to petty Gettings.
Since thou art not sure of a minute, throw not away an hour.
If you do what you should not, you must hear what you would not.
Defer not thy well-doing; be not like St. George, who is always a horseback, and never rides on.
Wish not so much to live long as to live well.
As we must account for every idle word, so we must for every idle silence.
I have never seen the Philosopher’s Stone that turns lead into Gold, but I have known the pursuit of it turn a Man’s Gold into Lead.
Never intreat a servant to dwell with thee.
Time is an herb that cures all Diseases.
Reading makes a full Man, Meditation a profound Man, discourse a clear Man.
If any man flatters me, I’ll flatter him again; tho’ he were my best Friend.
Wish a miser long life, and you wish him no good.
None but the well-bred man knows how to confess a fault, or acknowledge himself in an error.
Drive thy business; let not that drive thee.
There is much difference between imitating a good man, and counterfeiting him.
Wink at small faults; remember thou hast great ones.
Eat to please thyself, but dress to please others.
Search others for their virtues, thy self for thy vices.
Never spare the Parson’s wine, nor Baker’s Pudding.
Each year one vicious habit rooted out,
In time might make the worst Man good throughout.
When Death puts out our Flame, the Snuff will tell,
If we were Wax, or Tallow by the Smell.
At a great Pennyworth, pause a while.
As to his Wife, John minds St. Paul, He’s one
That hath a Wife, and is as if he’d none.
Kings a be an Honour to them tho’ they are dead.
If thou wouldst live long, live well; for Folly and Wickedness shorten Life.
Prythee isn’t Miss Cloe’s a comical Case?
She lends out her Tail, and she borrows her Face.
Trust thy self, and another shall not betray thee.
He that pays for Work before it’s done, has but a pennyworth for twopence.
Historians relate, not so much what is done, as what they would have believed.
O Maltster! break that cheating Peck; ’tis plain,
When e’er you use it, you’re a Knave in Grain.
Doll learning propria quae maribus [from William Lily’s text on Latin noun gender] without book,
Like Nomen crescentis genitivo [Latin: Name of the fruitful crescent] doth look.
Grace thou thy House, and let not that grace thee.
Thou canst not joke an Enemy into a Friend; but thou may’st a Friend into an Enemy.
Eyes & Priests
Bear no Jests.
He that falls in love with himself, will have no Rivals.
Let thy Child’s first Lesson be Obedience, and the second may be what thou wilt.
Blessed is he that expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
Rather go to bed supperless, than run in debt for a Breakfast.
Let thy Discontents be Secrets.
An infallible Remedy for the Tooth-ach, viz Wash the Root of an aching Tooth, in Elder Vinegar, and let it dry half an hour in the Sun; after which it will never ach more; Probatum est.
A Man of Knowledge like a rich Soil, feeds
If not a world of Corn, a world of Weeds.
A modern Wit is one of David’s Fools.
No Resolution of Repenting hereafter, can be sincere.
Pollio, who values nothing that’s within,
Buys books as men hunt Beavers, — for their Skin.
Honour thy Father and Mother, i.e. Live so as to be an Honour to them tho’ they are dead.
If thou injurest Conscience, it will have its Revenge on thee.
Hear no ill of a Friend, nor speak any of an Enemy.
Pay what you owe, and you’ll know what’s your own.
Be not niggardly of what costs thee nothing, as courtesy, counsel, & countenance.
Thirst after Desert, not Reward.
Beware of him that is slow to anger: He is angry for something, and will not be pleased for nothing.
No longer virtuous no longer free; is a Maxim as true with regard to a private Person as a Common-wealth.
When Man and Woman die, as Poets sung,
His Heart’s the last part moves, her last, the tongue.
Proclaim not all thou knowest, all thou owest, all thou hast, nor all thou canst.
Let our Fathers and Grandfathers be valued for their Goodness, ourselves for our own.
Industry need not wish.
Sin is not hurtful because it is forbidden but it is forbidden because it’s hurtful. Nor is a Duty beneficial because it is commanded, but it is commanded, because it’s beneficial.
A ---- , they say, has Wit; for what?
For writing? — No; For writing not.
George came to the Crown without striking a Blow.
Ah! quoth the Pretender, would I could do so.
Love, and be lov’d.
O Lazy-Bones! Dost thou think God would have given thee Arms and Legs, if he had not design’d thou should’st use them.
A Cure for Poetry,
Seven wealthy Towns contend for Homer, dead,
Thro’ which the living Homer beg’d his Bread.
Great Beauty, great strength, & great Riches, are really & truly of no great Use; a right Heart exceeds all.
To bear other Peoples Afflictions, every one has Courage enough, and to spare.
No wonder Tom grows fat, th’ unwieldy Sinner,
Makes his whole Life but one continual Dinner.
An empty Bag cannot stand upright.
Happy that nation, fortunate that age, whose history is not diverting.
What is a butterfly? At best
He’s but a caterpiller drest.
The gaudy Fop’s his picture just.
None are deceived but they that confide.
An open Foe may prove a curse;
But a pretended friend is worse.
A wolf eats sheep but now and then,
Ten Thousands are devour’d by Men.
Man’s tongue is soft, and bone doth lack;
Yet a stroke therewith may break a man’s back.
Many a Meal is lost for want of meat.
To all apparent Beauties blind
Each Blemish strikes an envious Mind.
The Poor have little, Beggars none;
the Rich too much, enough not one.
There are lazy Minds as well as lazy Bodies.
Tricks and Treachery are the Practice of Fools, that have not Wit enough to be honest.
Who says Jack is not generous? he is always fond of giving, and cares not for receiving. — What? Why; Advice.
The Man who with undaunted toils,
sails unknown seas to unknown soils,
With various wonders feasts his Sight:
What stranger wonders does he write?
Fear not Death; for the sooner we die, the longer shall we be immortal.
Those who in quarrels interpose,
Must often wipe a bloody nose.
Promises may get thee Friends, but Nonperformance will turn them into Enemies.
In other men we faults can spy,
And blame the mote that dims their eye;
Each little speck and blemish find;
To our own stronger errors blind.
When you speak to a man, look on his eyes; when he speaks to thee, look on his mouth.
Jane, why those tears? why droops your head?
Is then your other husband dead?
Or doth a worse disgrace betide?
Hath no one since his death apply’d?
Observe all men; thy self most.
Thou hadst better eat salt with the Philosophers of Greece, than sugar with the Courtiers of Italy.
Seek Virtue, and, of that possest,
To Providence, resign the rest.
Marry above thy match, and thou’lt get a Master.
Fear to do ill, and you need fear nought else.
He makes a Foe who makes a jest.
Can grave and formal pass for wise,
When Men the solemn Owl despise?
Some are justly laught at for keeping their Money foolishly, others for spending it idly: He is the greatest fool that lays it out in a purchase of repentance.
Who knows a fool, must know his brother;
For one will recommend another.
Avoid dishonest Gain: No price;
Can recompence the Pangs of Vice.
When befriended, remember it:
When you befriend, forget it.
Great souls with gen’rous pity melt;
Which coward tyrants never felt.
Employ thy time well, if thou meanest to gain leisure.
A Flatterer never seems absurd:
The Flatter’d always take his Word.
Lend Money to an Enemy, and thou’lt gain him, to a Friend and thou’lt lose him.
Neither praise nor dispraise, till seven Christmasses be over.
Enjoy the present hour, be mindful of the past;
And neither fear nor wish the Approaches of the last.
Learn of the skilful: He that teaches himself, hath a fool for his master.
Best is the Tongue that feels the rein; —
He that talks much, must talk in vain;
We from the wordy Torrent fly:
Who listens to the chattering Pye?
Think Cato sees thee.
No Wood without Bark.
Monkeys warm with envious spite,
Their most obliging FRIENDS will bite; —
And, fond to copy human Ways,
Practise new Mischiefs all their days.
Joke went out, and brought home his fellow, and they two began a quarrel.
Let thy discontents be thy Secrets; — if the world knows them, ’twill despise thee and increase them.
E’er you remark another’s Sin,
Bid your own Conscience look within.
Anger and Folly walk cheek-by-jole; Repentance treads on both their Heels.
Turn Turk Tim, and renounce thy Faith in Words as well as Actions: Is it worse to follow Mahomet than the Devil?
Don’t overload Gratitude; if you do, she’ll kick.
Be always asham’d to catch thy self idle.
Where yet was ever found the Mother,
Who’d change her booby for another?
At 20 years of age the Will reigns; at 30 the Wit; at 40 the Judgment.
Christianity commands us to pass by Injuries; Policy, to let them pass by us.
Lying rides upon Debt’s back.
They who have nothing to be troubled at, will be troubled at nothing.
Wife from thy Spouse each blemish hide
More than from all the World beside:
Let DECENCY be all thy Pride.
Nick’s Passions grow fat and hearty; his Understanding looks consumptive!
If evils come not, then our fears are vain:
And if they do, Fear but augments the pain.
If you would keep your Secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend.
Rob not for burnt offerings.
Bess brags she ’as Beauty, and can prove the same;
As how? why thus, Sir, ’tis her puppy’s name.
Up, Sluggard, and waste not life; in the grave will be sleeping enough.
Well done, is twice done.
Clearly spoken, Mr. Fog! You explain English by Greek.
Formio bewails his Sins with the same heart,
As Friends do Friends when they’re about to part.
Believe it Formio will not entertain,
One chearful Thought till they do meet again.
Honours change Manners.
Jack eating rotten cheese, did say,
Like Sampson I my thousands slay;
I vow, quoth Roger, so you do,
And with the self-same weapon too.
There are no fools so troublesome as those that have wit.
Quarrels never could last long,
If on one side only lay the wrong.
Let no Pleasure tempt thee, no Profit allure thee, no Ambition corrupt thee, no Example sway thee, no Persuasion move thee, to do any thing which thou knowest to be Evil; So shalt thou always live jollily: for a good Conscience is a continual Christmass.
Strange! that a Man who has wit enough to write a Satyr; should have folly enough to publish it.
He that hath a Trade, hath an Estate.
Have you somewhat to do to-morrow; do it to-day.
No workman without tools,
Nor Lawyer without Fools,
Can live by their Rules.
The painful Preacher, like a candle bright,
Consumes himself in giving others Light.
Speak and speed: the close mouth catches no flies.
Visit your Aunt, but not every Day; and call at your Brother’s, but not every night.
Bis dat, qui cito dat. [Latin: Twice he gives, who quickly gives.]
Money and good Manners make the Gentleman.
Late Children, early Orphans.
Ben beats his Pate, and fancys wit will come;
But he may knock, there’s no body at home.
The good Spinner hath a large Shift.
Tom, vain’s your Pains; They all will fail:
Ne’er was good Arrow made of a Sow’s Tail.
Empty Free-booters, cover’d with Scorn:
They went out for Wealth, & come ragged and torn,
As the Ram went for Wool, and was sent back shorn.
Ill Customs & bad Advice are seldom forgotten.
He that sows thorns, should not go barefoot.
Reniego de grillos, aunque sean d’oro. [Spanish: I refuse to worship crickets, though they be of gold.]
Men meet, mountains never.
When Knaves fall out, honest Men get their goods: When Priests dispute, we come at the Truth.
Kate would have Thomas, no one blame her can:
Tom won’t have Kate, and who can blame the Man?
A large train makes a light Purse.
Death takes no bribes.
One good Husband is worth two good Wives; for the scarcer things are the more they’re valued.
He that riseth late, must trot all day, and shall scarce overtake his business at night.
He that speaks ill of the Mare, will buy her.
You may drive a gift without a gimblet.
Eat few Suppers, and you’ll need few Medicines.
You will be careful, if you are wise;
How you touch Men’s Religion, or Credit, or Eyes.
Milk do not wish.
Heb Dduw heb ddim, a Duw a digon. [Welsh: Without God, without anything; with God, with enough.]
They who have nothing to trouble them, will be troubled at nothing.
Against Diseases here, the strongest Fence,
Is the defensive Virtue, Abstinence.
Fient de chien, & marc d’argent,
Seront tout un au jour du jugement.
[French: Trust of dog, and grounds of silver,
will all be one on Judgment Day]
If thou dost ill, the joy fades, not the pains;
If well, the pain doth fade, the joy remains.
To err is human, to repent divine, to persist devilish.
Money & Man a mutual Friendship show:
Man makes false Money, Money makes Man so.
Industry pays Debts, Despair increases them.
Bright as the day and as the morning fair,
Such Cloe is, & common as the air.
Here comes Glib-tongue: who can out-flatter a Dedication; and lie, like ten Epitaphs.
Hope and a Red-Rag, are Baits for Men and Mackrel.
With the old Almanack and the old Year,
Leave thy old Vices, tho’ ever so dear.
Rules of Health and long Life, and to preserve from Malignant Fevers, and Sickness in general. [Next 10 days]
Eat and drink such an exact Quantity as the Constitution of thy Body allows of, in reference to the Services of the Mind.
They that study much, ought not to eat so much as those that work hard, their Digestion being not so good.
[Of Eat and Drink:] The exact Quantity and Quality being found out, is to be kept to constantly.
Excess in all other Things whatever, as well as in Meat and Drink, is also to be avoided.
Youth, Age, and Sick require a different Quantity [of Eat and Drink].
And so do those of contrary Complexions; for that which is too much [of Eat and Drink] for a flegmatick Man, is not sufficient for a Cholerick.
The Measure of Food ought to be (as much as possibly may be) exactly proportionable to the Quality and Condition of the Stomach, because the Stomach digests it.
That Quantity that is sufficient, the Stomach can perfectly concoct and digest, and it sufficeth the due Nourishment of the Body.
A greater Quantity of some things may be eaten than of others, some being of lighter Digestion than others.
The Difficulty lies, in finding out an exact Measure; but eat for Necessity, not Pleasure, for Lust knows not where Necessity ends.
Wouldst thou enjoy a long Life, a healthy Body, and a vigorous Mind, and be acquainted also with the wonderful Works of God? labour in the first place to bring thy Appetite into Subjection to Reason.
Rules to find out a fit Measure of Meat and Drink. [Next 10 days]
If thou eatest so much as makes thee unfit for Study, or other Business, thou exceedest the due Measure.
If thou art dull and heavy after Meat, it’s a sign thou hast exceeded the due Measure; for Meat and Drink ought to refresh the Body, and make it chearful, and not to dull and oppress it.
If thou findest these ill Symptoms, consider whether too much Meat, or too much Drink occasions it, or both, and abate by little and little, till thou findest the Inconveniency removed.
Keep out of the Sight of Feasts and Banquets as much as may be; for ’tis more difficult to refrain good Cheer, when it’s present, than from the Desire of it when it is away; the like you may observe in the Objects of all the other Senses.
If a Man casually exceeds, let him fast the next Meal, and all may be well again, provided it be not too often done; as if he exceed at Dinner, let him refrain a Supper, &c.
A temperate Diet frees from Diseases; such are seldom ill, but if they are surprised with Sickness, they bear it better, and recover sooner; for most Distempers have their Original from Repletion.
Use now and then a little Exercise a quarter of an Hour before Meals, as to swing a Weight, or swing your Arms about with a small Weight in each Hand; to leap, or the like, for that stirs the Muscles of the Breast.
A temperate Diet arms the Body against all external Accidents; so that they are not so easily hurt by Heat, Cold or Labour; if they at any time should be prejudiced, they are more easily cured, either of Wounds, Dislocations or Bruises.
But when malignant Fevers are rife in the Country or City where thou dwelst, ’tis adviseable to eat and drink more freely, by Way of Prevention; for those are Diseases that are not caused by Repletion, and seldom attack Full-feeders.
A sober Diet makes a Man die without Pain; it maintains the Senses in Vigour; it mitigates the Violence of Passions and Affections.
It preserves the Memory, it helps the Understanding, it allays the Heat of Lust; it brings a Man to a Consideration of his latter End; it makes the Body a fit Tabernacle for the Lord to dwell in; which makes us happy in this World, and eternally happy in the World to come, through Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour.
How few there are who have courage enough to own their Faults, or resolution enough to mend them!
Men differ daily, about things which are subject to Sense, is it likely then they should agree about things invisible.
Mark with what insolence and pride,
Blown Bufo takes his haughty stride;
As if no toad was toad beside.
Ill Company is like a dog who dirts those most, that he loves best.
In prosperous fortunes be modest and wise,
The greatest may fall, and the lowest may rise:
But insolent People that fall in disgrace,
Are wretched and no-body pities their Case.
*** Le sage entend a demi mot.
[French: The wise one listens to half the word.]
Sorrow is dry.
The World is full of fools and faint hearts; and yet every one has courage enough to bear the misfortunes, and wisdom enough to manage the Affairs of his neighbour.
Beware, beware! he’ll cheat ’ithout scruple, who can without fear.
The D—l wipes his B—ch with poor Folks Pride.
Content and Riches seldom meet together,
Riches take thou, contentment I had rather.
Speak with contempt of none, from slave to king,
The meanest Bee hath, and will use, a sting.
The church the state, and the poor, are 3 daughters which we should maintain, but not portion off.
*** A achwyno heb achos; gwneler achos iddo.
[Welsh: He who complains without reason may be without reason. Please send better translation to Rich Hall.]
A little well-gotten will do us more good,
Than lordships and scepters by Rapine and Blood.
Borgen macht sorgen.
[German: Neither a borrower nor a lender be.]
Let all Men know thee, but no man know thee thoroughly: Men freely ford that see the shallows.
Tis easy to frame a good bold resolution;
but hard is the Task that concerns execution.
Cold & cunning come from the north:
But cunning sans wisdom is nothing worth.
Tis vain to repine,
Tho’ a learned Divine
Will die this day at nine.
*** A noddo duw, ry noddir. [Welsh: He who protects God, receives protection.]
Ah simple Man! when a boy two precious jewels were given thee, Time, and good Advice; one thou hast lost, and the other thrown away.
*** Na funno i hun.
Na wnaid i un.
[Welsh: Please send translation to Rich Hall]
Dick told his spouse, he durst be bold to swear,
Whate’er she pray’d for, Heav’n would thwart her pray’r:
Indeed! says Nell, ’tis what I’m pleas’d to hear;
For now I’ll pray for your long life, my dear.
The sleeping Fox catches no poultry. Up! up!
If you’d be wealthy, think of saving, more than of getting: The Indies have not made Spain rich, because her Outgoes equal her Incomes.
Tugend bestehet wen alles vergehet.[German: Virtue is the requirement whom all offend.]
Came you from Court? for in your Mien,
A self-important air is seen.
Hear what Jack Spaniard says,
Con todo el Mundo Guerra,
Y Paz con Ingalatierra.
[Spanish: However the World is at War,
be at Peace with Foreigners.]
If you’d have it done, Go: If not, send.
Many a long dispute among Divines may be thus abridg’d, It is so: It is not so. It is so; It is not so.
Experience keeps a dear school, yet Fools will learn in no other.
Felix quem faciunt aliena pericula cautum.
[Latin: Blessed is he who learns caution from the perils of others.]
How many observe Christ’s Birth-day! How few, his Precepts! O! ’tis easier to keep Holidays than Commandments.
He that drinks his Cyder alone, let him catch his Horse alone.
Who is strong? He that can conquer his bad Habits. Who is rich? He that rejoices in his Portion.
He that has not got a Wife, is not yet a compleat Man.
What you would seem to be, be really.
If you’d lose a troublesome Visitor, lend him Money.
Tart Words make no Friends: a spoonful of honey will catch more flies than Gallon of Vinegar.
Make haste slowly.
Dine with little, sup with less:
Do better still; sleep supperless.
Industry, Perseverance, & Frugality, make Fortune yield.
I’ll warrant ye, goes before Rashness; Who’d-a-tho’t it? comes sneaking after.
Prayers and Provender hinder no Journey.
Hear Reason, or she’ll make you feel her.
Give me yesterday’s Bread, this Day’s Flesh, and last Year’s Cyder.
God heals, and the Doctor takes the Fees.
Sloth (like Rust) consumes faster than Labour wears: the used Key is always bright.
Light Gains heavy Purses.
Keep thou from the Opportunity, and God will keep thee from the Sin.
Where there’s no Law, there’s no Bread.
As Pride increases, Fortune declines.
Drive thy Business, or it will drive thee.
A full Belly is the Mother of all Evil.
The same man cannot be both Friend and Flatterer.
He who multiplies Riches multiplies Cares.
An old Man in a House is a good Sign.
Those who are fear’d, are hated.
The Things which hurt, instruct.
The Eye of a Master, will do more Work than his Hand.
A soft Tongue may strike hard.
If you’d be belov’d, make yourself amiable.
A true Friend is the best Possession.
Fear God, and your Enemies will fear you.
Epitaph on a Scolding Wife by her Husband.
Here my poor Bridgets’s Corps doth lie,
she is at rest, — and so am I.
Beware of little Expences, a small Leak will sink a great Ship.
Wars bring scars.
A light purse is a heavy Curse.
As often as we do good, we sacrifice.
For I have no Lands.
It’s common for Men to give 6 pretended Reasons instead of one real one.
Vanity backbites more than Malice.
He’s a Fool that cannot conceal his Wisdom.
Great spenders are bad lenders.
All blood is alike ancient.
You may talk too much on the best of subjects.
A Man without ceremony has need of great merit in its place.
No gains without pains.
Had I revenged wrong, I had not worn my skirts so long.
Graft good Fruit all, or graft not at all.
Idleness is the greatest Prodigality.
Old young and old long.
Punch-coal, cut-candle, and set brand on end,
is neither good house wife, nor good house-wife’s friend.
He who buys had need have 100 Eyes,
but one’s enough for him that sells the Stuff.
There are no fools so troublesome as those that have wit.
Many complain of their Memory, few of their Judgment.
One Man may be more cunning than another, but not more cunning than every body else.
To God we owe fear and love; to our neighbours justice and charity; to our selves prudence and sobriety.
Fools make feasts and wise men eat them.
Light-heel’d mothers make leaden-heel’d daughters.
The good or ill hap of a good or ill life,
is the good or ill choice of a good or ill wife.
Tis easier to prevent bad habits than to break them.
Every Man has Assurance enough to boast of his honesty, few of their Understanding.
Interest which blinds some People, enlightens others.
An ounce of wit that is bought,
Is worth a pound that is taught.
He that resolves to mend hereafter, resolves not to mend now.
Observe the Mean, the Motive and the End;
Mending our selves, or striving still to mend.
Our Souls sincere, our Purpose fair and free,
Without Vain Glory or Hypocrisy:
Thankful if well; if ill, we kiss the Rod;
Resign with Hope, and put our Trust in GOD.
When the Well’s dry, we know the Worth of Water.
He that whines for Glass without G
Take away L and that’s he.
A good Wife & Health,
is a Man’s best Wealth.
A quarrelsome Man has no good Neighbours.
Wide will wear,
but Narrow will tear.
Silks and Sattins put out the Kitchen Fire.
Vice knows she’s ugly, so puts on her Mask.
It’s the easiest Thing in the World for a Man to deceive himself.
Women & Wine, Game & Deceit,
Make the Wealth small and the Wants great.
All Mankind are beholden to him that is kind to the Good.
A Plowman on his Legs is higher than a Gentleman on his Knees.
Virtue and Happiness are Mother and Daughter.
The generous Mind least regards money, and yet most feels the Want of it.
For one poor Man there are an hundred indigent.
Dost thou love Life? then do not squander Time; for that’s the Stuff Life is made of.
Good Sense is a Thing all need, few have, and none think they want.
What’s proper, is becoming: See the Blacksmith with his white Silk Apron!
The Tongue is ever turning to the aching Tooth.
Want of Care does us more Damage than Want of Knowledge.
Take Courage, Mortal; Death can’t banish thee out of the Universe.
The Sting of a Reproach, is the Truth of it.
Do me the Favour to deny me at once.
The most exquisite Folly is made of Wisdom spun too fine.
A life of leisure, and a life of laziness, are two things.
Mad Kings and mad Bulls, are not to be held by treaties & packthread.
Changing Countries or Beds, cures neither a bad Manager, nor a Fever.
A true great Man will neither trample on a Worm, nor sneak to an Emperor.
*** Ni ffyddra llaw dyn, er gwneithr da idd ei hun. [Welsh: We have frozen a hand tightly, but without God's help, it can do no good for itself. Please send a better translation to Rich Hall.]
Tim and his Handsaw are good in their Place,
Tho’ not fit for preaching or shaving a face.
Half-Hospitality opens his Doors and shuts up his Countenance.
Strive to be the greatest Man in your Country, and you may be disappointed; Strive to be the best, and you may succeed: He may well win the race that runs by himself. [In Franklin’s writings, to be greatest is to be most powerful, while to be best is to be most righteous.]
Tis a strange Forest that has no rotten Wood in’t.
And a strange Kindred that all are good in’t.
None know the unfortunate, and the fortunate do not know themselves.
There’s a time to wink as well as to see.
Honest Tom! you may trust him with a house-full of untold Milstones.
There is no Man so bad, but he secretly respects the Good.
When there’s more Malice shown than Matter:
On the Writer falls the satyr.
Courage would fight, but Discretion won’t let him.
Delicate Dick! whisper’d the Proclamation.
Cornelius ought to be Tacitus.
Pride and the Gout,
are seldom cur’d throughout.
We are not so sensible of the greatest Health as of the least Sickness.
A good Example is the best sermon.
A Father’s a Treasure; a Brother’s a Comfort; a Friend is both.
Despair ruins some, Presumption many.
A quiet Conscience sleeps in Thunder,
but Rest and Guilt live far asunder.
He that won’t be counsell’d, can’t be help’d.
Craft must be at charge for clothes, but Truth can go naked.
Write Injuries in Dust, Benefits in Marble.
What is Serving God? ’Tis doing Good to Man.
What maintains one Vice would bring up two Children.
Many have been ruin’d by buying good pennyworths.
Better is a little with content than much with contention.
A Slip of the Foot you may soon recover:
But a Slip of the Tongue you may never get over.
What signifies your Patience, if you can’t find it when you want it.
¢. wise, £. foolish.
Time enough, always proves little enough.
It is wise not to seek a Secret, and Honest not to reveal it.
A Mob’s a Monster; Heads enough, but no Brains.
The Devil sweetens Poison with Honey.
He that cannot bear with other People’s Passions, cannot govern his own.
He that by the Plow would thrive,
himself must either hold or drive.